A little over 2 months....

...and we are seeing HUGE progress in this family! We've had some tough times in last couple of months, but we are seeing so much positive change. It is such a testament to God's work in our hearts and in Abram's.

For starters, nap time and bedtime are finally getting easy! I lay Abram right down for his nap with no protesting! Occasionally, he's not quite ready and I have to go back in, lay him down, cover him up, but that's pretty rare. Bedtime is about the same. We got through our routine, I lay him down, and Aaron usually has to go in a couple of times to cover him up. We figured out that he would go to sleep much faster if Aaron went in versus me. I think he's so attached to me, that it became difficult for him to fall asleep if I kept coming in when he cried.

Abram is getting more and more comfortable with Aaron. He enjoys playing with him, will let Aaron feed and bathe him, and let him hold him. Now, if he has a choice, he wants me. And, he still gets upset sometimes when I walk out of the room and leave him with Aaron. He's my little "cling-on." But, we did make huge progress last week when I left the house for an hour to volunteer at Matrix. Aaron said he never even acted like anything was "off."

And the really fun stuff; we're starting to see Abram communicate with us more and more. He waves and says, "bye-bye." He puts up his hands and says, "all gone." And this week, he started using his signs for "please" and "thank you." I'm so proud of him! He is really starting to come out of his shell and show us that wonderful little personality. The greatest thing is just seeing him have fun and laugh...God is so good.

Such a beautiful smile and spirit!

Kisses from big brother.

Two happy, little boys!

Brothers

Many times in the last couple of months I've kind of questioned our choice to have two boys so close in age. It's not so much that they are close in age, but the fact that we brought one toddler into a house where another toddler was already living (and was master of his domain, might I add). We've had a lot of rough moments where I'm changing a diaper and Grayson has to go potty, NOW! Or, the times when they both fall and get hurt and both come crying, wanting to be picked up and comforted at the same time. Or, the seemingly constant battle over toys.

But, in the last couple of weeks, I've really started to get a glimpse of what life will be like for these two brothers. I've already started to see hints of the type of bond I had/have with my younger sister. Grayson absolutely adores Abram. It may sound strange, but it's almost like a younger sibling looking up to an older sibling. He may talk tough at times, but at the end of the day he just wants Abram to love him as much as he loves Abram. He reminds me so much of myself when he tries to hug and kiss Abram all the time. I was affectionate with my sister to a fault...it drove her nuts! When Abram is in the right mood, it's magical. To see them giving each other kisses and squealing as they hug/wrestle on the floor. But, more often than not, Abram is a little sensitive and grouchy and the affection sends him into a fit! Or, their newest thing, sitting next to each other on the bathroom rug as I get ready in the mornings. If Abram sits on the rug and doesn't land close enough to Grayson, he inches over...so cute.

But what warms my heart the most is Grayson's compassion for his little brother. When he hears him crying his ears perk up and he runs to his rescue. When he sees Abram get hurt, he hangs his head and says, "poor Abram." I can remember my sister getting in trouble and I would be the one in the other room, crying, feeling sorry for her. I can say from experience, Abram will never go a day without an ally ready to stand up for him at a moment's notice. At dinner just the other night, Abram was crying about something (mealtime fits are not uncommon). Just as Aaron and I were getting a little frustrated, Grayson got out of his chair, went to Abram and said, "no more tears Abram, no more tears," as he wiped Abram's tears with a napkin. My heart melted! I am so excited to see what the future brings for these two, and I am so glad they will always have a best friend.

Finally a post about our trip!

So, lately I've been feeling I was remiss in not posting about our trip. But, for the longest time, I just didn't have anything to say, or maybe I had too much to say? It was as if I couldn't sit back and reflect on the trip because in some weird way I felt like I was still on the trip...like I had never gotten home. I mean, we came home, but nothing was the same...I still felt like I was in a foreign land because this whole two toddlers thing was definitely uncharted territory. But, now we're finally in a routine, and things are starting to feel familiar again. Now, I feel like I can step back and recall details from our trip...I feel like I've finally returned home.

For starters, the flight was grueling. Our flight out of Indy left so early that we got very little sleep (plus, who can sleep when you're so close to meeting your son)! We then spent a night on the plane, so, by the time we arrived in Addis Ababa, we had 2 nights of nearly no sleep. The airport was a breeze and we were soon off to the guest house. But, no sleep, hunger, bumpy roads, and high altitudes left us both feeling pretty crummy by the time we got to our guest house! We took a nap and waited for that long-awaited moment of meeting Abram! It ended up taking Travis, the Gladney representative, longer than expected to bring Abram to us. But, honestly, we needed the extra couple hours to sleep and shower! When Travis called saying he was downstairs I was so excited, but so nervous. I was bracing myself for the fact that Abram may not want to come to us. But, he did fine. Though, Travis said he did have a very tough time leaving the care center. He had a deer-in-the-headlights look, but no tears. My first impression was that he was so much pudgier than I had imagined...I hoped the clothes we brought would fit!! Our first day together went very well. Aaron ended up being gone with our driver for a couple hours to get dinner and Abram and I played. I got all kinds of laughs and smiles. He eventually fell asleep on the bed, exhausted from a tough day.

Our first heart-wrenching moment came later that night when Abram woke up. He sat up in his crib crying. I went over to pick him up and he started crying harder, backing himself into the corner of the crib to get away from me. Oh, my heart was breaking for this little guy! I picked him up, rocked him, and he went back to sleep. How scared he must have been...hoping I was just a bad dream and he would wake up in the morning to the sound of his special mother's voice.

The next day, Tuesday, was spent hanging out at the guest house with Abram. He seemed a little unsure of us that morning, but warmed up to us quickly. Aaron was starting to get things figured out with our driver who would run and get us food when we needed. Aaron usually tagged along and by the end of the week, we were great friends with Biniam. We had a couple of frustrating moments with the language barrier (he had only been speaking English for 6 mos...amazing how much he knew) but quickly learned to go with the flow and if we couldn't understand or he couldn't understand, we just laughed and tried again! I was absolutely floored by Biniam's compassion for Abram. He would hold him, talk to him, coo his name...it was heart-warming to witness.

Wednesday was a big day. In the morning, we visited the Gladney care center that Abram had been staying in. When we got there, his special mother (caregiver) came to get him and took him to dress him in traditional clothing. It was obvious how much Abram loved her by his reaction when he saw her...he wanted her NOW! It was such an amazing experience to tour the care center and see the children of your blogging buddies back home. What an honor it was to hold them and take pictures of them! We had a coffee ceremony and then the children were brought back to us. When Abram's special mother said goodbye to him, my heart broke into a million more pieces. She cried and he WAILED. I held him and just broke down. I just felt like this couldn't possibly be what was best for this precious child. I already loved him and I didn't want him hurting. But, I pulled it together once again, tucking those emotions away for another time and we went on with our day.

We grabbed some lunch as a group and then went to the U.S. Embassy. I was again surprised by the caring nature of a man at the embassy. He was sitting across from Abram and I and he played with Abram, talked to him, and tried holding him (for once, he actually preferred me). I had to wonder what he was thinking. Was he being so kind and playful in hopes that Abram would remember the amazing spirit of the Ethiopian people? Did he feel sorry that Abram would be raised by a white family a half a world away? I was certainly starting to feel that way. I loved him, but so did our driver, Biniam, and the man at the embassy, and his brother...his brother loves him so much.

After waiting a good couple of hours at the embassy, we were called to a window, answered a few questions, and were on our way! Thursday was our day of sight-seeing. Aaron was feeling a little sick in the morning so he stayed behind with Abram. I went with Biniam to the national museum, home of Lucy, the oldest human skeleton, thought to be millions of years old. From there we took a group tour of Holy Trinity church. That evening, we went to a traditional dinner and dance. Luckily, Aaron was feeling better and could attend. His worst fears were realized when he was called out to do a little traditional dancing...let's just say his place is in front of a computer!

We knew Friday would be an emotional day. That morning, we were able to meet with Abram's biological brother. His brother cared for him for several months before making the impossible decision to relinquish him. We got out of the car at the Gladney office and heard someone calling Kembata's name. We knew it must be his brother. Kebede reached for Abram and he didn't want to go to him. It very obviously broke Kebede's heart and mine. I had to bite the inside of my mouth most of the morning to keep from losing it. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to talk to Kebede and video tape our time together. Abram eventually warmed up to him and let him hold him and play with him. I was so glad they had that time together. I pray it's not the last time they see each other.

After the morning meeting, we toured 3 government-run orphanages. I've seen similar orphanages in South Africa and even more desperate situations in Zimbabwe, so I was prepared for the hard things I would see. But, it was Aaron's first time in an orphanage and was difficult for him. But, we were encouraged by the resilient spirit of the children and by the great things Gladney is doing in each of these orphanages. Before we knew it, it was time to head to our guest house, pack our things, and head to the airport.

After waiting several hours, we finally boarded the plane. I have to say, as much as I loved Ethiopia, it was good to be getting on the plane. I felt like after a tough week of bouncing from us to caregivers to birth family, back to us, this was what Abram needed to really begin bonding with us. The return flight was very difficult. There wasn't much room and Aaron was in the middle of 3 seats. I had to be on the end because Abram required me to get up and down a lot. He just wasn't happy for the majority of the flight. It was really, really, tough to say the least. I've never been so happy to get off of an airplane in my entire life!

The walk from the plane to where our family was waiting seemed to take forever! But, eventually I saw Grayson! He immediately came to us and said, "ABRAM'S HOME!" I have to say that the meeting at the airport was like a dream! Abram was very friendly with all of our family and Grayson was just ecstatic to finally meet him. Grayson looked like he had aged 2 years in one week...he just suddenly seemed so much older! And, I find myself treating him much older....sometimes I have to adjust my expectations and remind myself he is only 3.

Well, that's it...that's our trip in a very small nutshell. It was amazing. And like with Guatemala, I find myself wanting to go back! I can't wait to take the kids to their birth countries. However, Aaron and I agreed that we would be waiting until we could afford first class before returning to Ethiopia!

Abram and Samrawit

The Gladney Foster Care Center

Clothes drying on the line!

Us with Abram's brother, Kebede

My sister and nephew met us at Dulles!

So many things happening!

This has been a very exciting week in our household! After much thought and prayer, I decided I was not going to be able to teach bible study this year. It meant leaving Abram with other caregivers 2 mornings each week and we know he is just not ready for that. So, with our days wide open, I began looking for a preschool that had openings for children just barely missing the "3 years old by Sept. 1" cut-off. I found a preschool in West Lafayette that has a 2.5-3 year old classroom! Their afternoon program had openings. We went to visit and Grayson got very excited about "his school!" So, yesterday was his first day of preschool! I can't believe how big he has gotten. He really needed something to look forward to each week that was just his and not something he had to share with Abram! From what I can gather, he had a great time and looks forward to next week! And, an added bonus, the school is very diverse! Of the 6 kids in his class only 2 are white! I have nothing against white people (obviously), but sometimes there are just so darn many of them! We know that Grayson is getting to an age where he notices differences in people and things and I was so excited to see that he will not be the only non-white child in his class!

And, if preschool was not exciting enough, we signed Grayson up for soccer! He starts next Saturday. It's a 6-week program that meets on Saturday mornings for 30 minutes. I can only imagine what it will be like! I'm sure the kids will be doing about everything BUT playing soccer! I'm envisioning somersaults in the grass (he's been practicing these).

As far as Abram is concerned, he seems to do a little better each day. He still gets pretty cranky and clingy when we spend the night away from the house, but is settling into a routine here at home. I still have not tried leaving him with anyone, including Aaron. If I'm in another room of the house he will be okay for a little bit, but then will start crying and looking for me. We're a little afraid to test him to see if he would eventually calm down. I don't really want to put him through that or Aaron for that matter!