For starters, the flight was grueling. Our flight out of Indy left so early that we got very little sleep (plus, who can sleep when you're so close to meeting your son)! We then spent a night on the plane, so, by the time we arrived in Addis Ababa, we had 2 nights of nearly no sleep. The airport was a breeze and we were soon off to the guest house. But, no sleep, hunger, bumpy roads, and high altitudes left us both feeling pretty crummy by the time we got to our guest house! We took a nap and waited for that long-awaited moment of meeting Abram! It ended up taking Travis, the Gladney representative, longer than expected to bring Abram to us. But, honestly, we needed the extra couple hours to sleep and shower! When Travis called saying he was downstairs I was so excited, but so nervous. I was bracing myself for the fact that Abram may not want to come to us. But, he did fine. Though, Travis said he did have a very tough time leaving the care center. He had a deer-in-the-headlights look, but no tears. My first impression was that he was so much pudgier than I had imagined...I hoped the clothes we brought would fit!! Our first day together went very well. Aaron ended up being gone with our driver for a couple hours to get dinner and Abram and I played. I got all kinds of laughs and smiles. He eventually fell asleep on the bed, exhausted from a tough day.
Our first heart-wrenching moment came later that night when Abram woke up. He sat up in his crib crying. I went over to pick him up and he started crying harder, backing himself into the corner of the crib to get away from me. Oh, my heart was breaking for this little guy! I picked him up, rocked him, and he went back to sleep. How scared he must have been...hoping I was just a bad dream and he would wake up in the morning to the sound of his special mother's voice.
The next day, Tuesday, was spent hanging out at the guest house with Abram. He seemed a little unsure of us that morning, but warmed up to us quickly. Aaron was starting to get things figured out with our driver who would run and get us food when we needed. Aaron usually tagged along and by the end of the week, we were great friends with Biniam. We had a couple of frustrating moments with the language barrier (he had only been speaking English for 6 mos...amazing how much he knew) but quickly learned to go with the flow and if we couldn't understand or he couldn't understand, we just laughed and tried again! I was absolutely floored by Biniam's compassion for Abram. He would hold him, talk to him, coo his name...it was heart-warming to witness.
Wednesday was a big day. In the morning, we visited the Gladney care center that Abram had been staying in. When we got there, his special mother (caregiver) came to get him and took him to dress him in traditional clothing. It was obvious how much Abram loved her by his reaction when he saw her...he wanted her NOW! It was such an amazing experience to tour the care center and see the children of your blogging buddies back home. What an honor it was to hold them and take pictures of them! We had a coffee ceremony and then the children were brought back to us. When Abram's special mother said goodbye to him, my heart broke into a million more pieces. She cried and he WAILED. I held him and just broke down. I just felt like this couldn't possibly be what was best for this precious child. I already loved him and I didn't want him hurting. But, I pulled it together once again, tucking those emotions away for another time and we went on with our day.
We grabbed some lunch as a group and then went to the U.S. Embassy. I was again surprised by the caring nature of a man at the embassy. He was sitting across from Abram and I and he played with Abram, talked to him, and tried holding him (for once, he actually preferred me). I had to wonder what he was thinking. Was he being so kind and playful in hopes that Abram would remember the amazing spirit of the Ethiopian people? Did he feel sorry that Abram would be raised by a white family a half a world away? I was certainly starting to feel that way. I loved him, but so did our driver, Biniam, and the man at the embassy, and his brother...his brother loves him so much.
After waiting a good couple of hours at the embassy, we were called to a window, answered a few questions, and were on our way! Thursday was our day of sight-seeing. Aaron was feeling a little sick in the morning so he stayed behind with Abram. I went with Biniam to the national museum, home of Lucy, the oldest human skeleton, thought to be millions of years old. From there we took a group tour of Holy Trinity church. That evening, we went to a traditional dinner and dance. Luckily, Aaron was feeling better and could attend. His worst fears were realized when he was called out to do a little traditional dancing...let's just say his place is in front of a computer!
We knew Friday would be an emotional day. That morning, we were able to meet with Abram's biological brother. His brother cared for him for several months before making the impossible decision to relinquish him. We got out of the car at the Gladney office and heard someone calling Kembata's name. We knew it must be his brother. Kebede reached for Abram and he didn't want to go to him. It very obviously broke Kebede's heart and mine. I had to bite the inside of my mouth most of the morning to keep from losing it. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to talk to Kebede and video tape our time together. Abram eventually warmed up to him and let him hold him and play with him. I was so glad they had that time together. I pray it's not the last time they see each other.
After the morning meeting, we toured 3 government-run orphanages. I've seen similar orphanages in South Africa and even more desperate situations in Zimbabwe, so I was prepared for the hard things I would see. But, it was Aaron's first time in an orphanage and was difficult for him. But, we were encouraged by the resilient spirit of the children and by the great things Gladney is doing in each of these orphanages. Before we knew it, it was time to head to our guest house, pack our things, and head to the airport.
After waiting several hours, we finally boarded the plane. I have to say, as much as I loved Ethiopia, it was good to be getting on the plane. I felt like after a tough week of bouncing from us to caregivers to birth family, back to us, this was what Abram needed to really begin bonding with us. The return flight was very difficult. There wasn't much room and Aaron was in the middle of 3 seats. I had to be on the end because Abram required me to get up and down a lot. He just wasn't happy for the majority of the flight. It was really, really, tough to say the least. I've never been so happy to get off of an airplane in my entire life!
The walk from the plane to where our family was waiting seemed to take forever! But, eventually I saw Grayson! He immediately came to us and said, "ABRAM'S HOME!" I have to say that the meeting at the airport was like a dream! Abram was very friendly with all of our family and Grayson was just ecstatic to finally meet him. Grayson looked like he had aged 2 years in one week...he just suddenly seemed so much older! And, I find myself treating him much older....sometimes I have to adjust my expectations and remind myself he is only 3.
Well, that's it...that's our trip in a very small nutshell. It was amazing. And like with Guatemala, I find myself wanting to go back! I can't wait to take the kids to their birth countries. However, Aaron and I agreed that we would be waiting until we could afford first class before returning to Ethiopia!
Abram and Samrawit
The Gladney Foster Care Center
Clothes drying on the line!
Us with Abram's brother, Kebede
My sister and nephew met us at Dulles!
1 comment:
Thanks for sharing about your trip, Emily!!
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