Well, today makes 35 weeks on the waiting list! My feelings about this are mixed. It's become an hour to hour struggle to stay positive. For the most part, we're holding up great! But, occasionally I allow myself to think about the fact that we're a year into this process, or that at this point in Grayson's adoption we were bringing him home, or I allow myself to compare our process with others with shorter wait times, etc. Luckily, these heavy-hearted moods typically only last a couple of hours and then we're off to do something and my pity-party is interrupted:)
One great thing about our referral taking longer than expected is that the court dates seem to be going faster. A couple of months back, referrals were only taking 6.5-7 months; however, once the court date was assigned, the court dates were 12 weeks away! Now, they are up to 8 weeks out! So, as long as we can get a referral and a court date before the courts close for the rainy season (the courts close each year from the beginning of Aug. to the end of Sept.) than we may come out of this just as quickly as people receiving referrals a couple months before us. Honestly, I'm trying to take it one step at a time and haven't given too much thought to what needs to happen after referral. I'm just getting SO anxious to see our little boys face! And to know how old he is so I can buy the little guys some clothes (not that he needs any)!
Oh, how ecstatic I will be when that phone rings and it's FINALLY our caseworker with our referral. Pray that it happens soon, soon, SOON!!!
Here are a couple of pictures of Grayson outside helping us water the grass. He typically gets wetter than the grass:) Oh, and a couple of pictures of our first taste of corn on the cob this season!
Over the past year, Aaron and I have been looking for organizations in both Guatemala and Ethiopia to sponsor on a monthly basis. Though there are hundreds of organizations, it's not easy to find just one, that one that speaks to your heart. Well, I ran across this website on someone else's blog the other day and am pretty sure this is the real deal. Please, please, please, take a minute to visit their site and watch their wonderful video. If I can figure out how to download the video and then upload it on my blog I will do that later.
After hearing how these children are rescued from the Omo River, I had to think of my bible study this year and of baby Moses. Just because these children are left in the river does not mean God doesn't have wonderful things planned for their lives. God chose the leader for His people from the river. Who are these children? What great things does God have planned for their lives? Please look into this organization and consider sponsoring them.
It's hard to believe that next Monday will mark 8 months on the waiting list. And, while there are days that this fact is very hard to face, lately the thought has been almost encouraging. Sure, it's not the timeline I imagined; rarely is anything. But, being this close to 8 months mean we HAVE to be getting close to our referral. Currently, the person at the top of the list has been waiting about 8.5 months. Hopefully, Hanna and Maarten will get their referral this week!
I want to say thank you to everyone who has been keeping us in their prayers! Boy, have I really felt them lately. I have suddenly become very patient with this wait and had a period of several days where I thought very little about it. We had some wonderful weather last Thursday through Saturday and we literally spent 8-10 hours each day outside working in the yard and playing with Grayson. It was so wonderful. Just what we all needed after a long winter! We're back to a couple of days of rain now, but so far I'm still doing pretty well with the home stretch of this wait. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. We have decided to be more specific with our prayers. We are asking for a referral in April and a court date for May. We know this is not the norm for court dates right now, but we also know God is capable. We will pray for this multiple times a day and if it's God's will, awesome; if not, at least we tried!
Thank you all again!
Today marks 33 weeks on the waiting list. I have decided to begin focusing on all the ways God has been faithful in the recent years, including in Grayson's adoption and this adoption.
1. God placed my family in Liberty, IN about 20 years ago. This is when mine and Aaron's friendship began.
2. God placed an urgency in my heart to start dating Aaron just after high school graduation. Any sooner or later, and the timing would not have been right.
3. Aaron and I both attended Indiana colleges (because I was not accepted to the out-of-state one's I applied to, thank you, God). This allowed our relationship to continue through college.
4. God gave me a faithful, committed man in Aaron. This would be important when I chose to spend a semester in D.C. during college or 6 weeks in Zimbabwe during our first year of marriage.
5. God gave me a father that had been adopted. This opened my heart to adoption.
6. God gave me a husband that was not scared off by this new idea of adoption.
7. God gave us families that were accepting of our decision to adopt.
8. God made us wait longer than we expected for Grayson's referral. He had not been born yet and God knew he was our son.
9. My sister and brother-in-law's house burnt down around Christmas that year. They gave us some of the money they got from the fire to buy our plane tickets to visit Grayson for a week. God worked that tragedy to benefit others.
10. God placed Grayson in a Christian foster home.
11. God allowed us to complete Grayson's adoption in one year, despite the turmoil of Guatemalan adoptions.
12. God had prepared Grayson for the transition he was about to make and Grayson made the transition into our family seamlessly.
13. The day we picked up Grayson in Guatemala is his birthmother's birthday. God gave us a way to always remember Gloria.
14. God made so many things come together with the timing of selling our house which resulted in us living in the house we do now; a house we love and see our children growing up in.
15. God gave us neighbors that are also adopting from Ethiopia.
16. God once again gave us accepting family and friends when we announced we would be adopting again.
17. God has helped us find a way to financially afford another adoption.
18. God has given us a network of families in Lafayette as well as online that have been extremely supportive during this tough process.
19. God has given me Bible Study Fellowship. Not only does this keep me busy, it keeps me thinking about God and all His attributes.
20. God has given us more time to be a family of 3. We have had so many precious moments with Grayson over the last several months.
Based on past experiences, I have NO reason to doubt the timing of this adoption.
After Friday's rough day and all the obsessing over the waiting list I've been doing, I decided I needed a much deserved break from all the adoption stuff. I decided I wasn't going to spend as much time on the computer or thinking about the adoption and Grayson and I were going to do more fun stuff together. Well, wouldn't you know it hasn't stopped raining since. But, we've managed to find some fun things to do inside.
Yesterday, Grayson didn't take a nap so we decided to run to Wal-Mart just to get out of the house. There we stumbled upon a Wall-E t-shirt for $5. Grayson loved it so we bought it. He put it on right when he got home and it hasn't come off yet (I did convince him to let me throw it in the dryer to freshen it up a bit after sleeping in it all night last night).
This morning we got out the play dough for something a little different to do. We made a play dough pizza with all the toppings. We even cut it into slices.
Well, the pizza got us thinking about food. So, for lunch we used cookie cutters to make Easter-themed peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Grayson devoured them in record time!
And, tomorrow after bible study, we have a picnic playdate at the park with Grayson's friend, Toby. So, all in all, this is shaping up to be a great week, even if it has done nothing but rain thus far:)
Notice, the pictures span a period of 2 days; yet, Grayson's shirt remains the same:)
Amy and Joe got their referral today! They had been waiting since August 5th...over 8 months! They were requesting either gender and everyone assumed it would be a boy...IT'S A GIRL!!! We're now number 1 on the list for a boy. However, we were not placed on the waiting list until August 27th so their may be several families before us that just aren't listed on the "unofficial list." Realistically, we may still have several more weeks. But, this is much more encouraging than what I was beginning to think:) Woohoo!!
So, before I go into my recap of our wonderful Easter weekend, I have to start with Friday. Earlier in the week I had called and left a message with Jessica, our wonderful caseworker at Gladney. I had a question about our medical reports (must be updated annually and we are 11 months into this process...yeah, it stinks big time) and about a recent change to the waiting list. So, on Friday she calls back. Let me just say that these caseworkers are amazing people. Day in and day out they work with people who are waiting for their children to come home. A kid on Christmas Eve doesn't even begin to explain the anticipation we feel. This anticipation goes from excitement to worry to frustration and, at times, down right anger. So, Jessica is so kindly trying to answer a question for me she is not at liberty to comment on. She tells me that it's inevitable that it will happen, we're getting closer, we've been waiting so long; there's only so much she can say without disclosing something she's not able to. And for some reason, I was just getting this hopeless feeling - I just started feeling like it was still going to be awhile. And, before I know it, I'm on the phone with her, crying. Yep, after 7.5 months of waiting the tears I've been repressing for months now, finally came. And, wouldn't you know it was to a complete stranger. But, there was something comforting about the fact that she doesn't really know me. I could hang up the phone, dry my eyes, and continue to wait. Jessica was so sweet and understanding as I let 7.5 months of tears work their way out. I have a feeling I'm not the first adoptive parent to let loose on the phone:) So, it was just not a great day. I was just feeling like we've caught so many bad breaks along this wait. First it was 3-5 months, then 6, then 7, now 8, and I have a feeling it could be even longer. It seems that every time we move up a week on the waiting list, the line gets 2 weeks longer. We seem to be getting so close, and then suddenly get further away. And on Friday, it had just been enough.
And, to make the phone call a little more stressful (now kinda humorous); Grayson had dumped a huge thing of balls behind the chair in the office. He can't reach them so he goes to the closet to get the Swiffer sweeper out and tries to reach the balls. Well, he loses control of the Swiffer and knocks the clock off the wall, breaking the glass in it. All the glass was behind the chair so he was fine. But, he then shoves the Swiffer under the chair to try to work the balls out. This time the Swiffer gets stuck under the chair and he breaks the Swiffer handle in half. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this added to the tears.
Anyway, we had a great Easter weekend and it did provide the distraction and rejuvenation I needed. I know we still have a while to wait and I have to be okay with that. It's getting harder and harder to be patient, but I have to in order to keep myself sane. I have about 5 weeks of bible study left and lots of things I could be doing around the house and outside. I'm going to attempt to separate myself from the computer a bit to make days go a little faster. I believe that God will work this long wait for the good and someday I will look back on this wait and it will seem like the blink of an eye.
So, I will leave you with a couple of pictures from the weekend. I hope you all had a wonderful Easter!
Yesterday was 32 weeks on the waiting list...on to week 33:) That smiley face is my poor attempt to show that I'm okay with 32 weeks of waiting:) Oops, there I go again.
Well, this weekend will be a nice distraction from adoption world; although, holidays do always make me wish I had a picture to pass around. We will be heading to good ole' Liberty, Indiana to spend time with parents, grandparents, siblings, etc. It's always nice to get away from the computer for a few days and not sit and obsess over whether or not someone has gotten a referral.
Grayson will have 2 Easter egg hunts. With my sister's recent move to Virginia, he will be the only one hunting eggs at both hunts. I guess that means that all the eggs will be put in one basket:)
Well, I think that is all there is to report! Have a wonderful Easter!
I had to post this funny story before I forgot about it. Today I was folding some laundry. Amongst the laundry was Grayson's winter coat. He points to the coat and says, "Baby's coat." He calls himself "Baby." We tell him his name is Grayson all the time, but he insists on "Baby." I said, "yes, that's your coat. But, hopefully you won't need it anymore." Then I added, "would it be okay to save it for Abram?" Grayson shakes his head and says, "no, Baby's coat." I said, "Oh, but Grayson, Mommy already got you a NEW coat for next year." He takes a second to think, smiles really big, points to the coat, and says, "Abram." I think he'll be perfectly willing to share as long as he has something new to replace what he graciously hands down:)
Well, today makes 7 months and 1 week on the waiting list! Maybe only a few more weeks to go??? I'm glad the weekend is here and I'm hoping it will mean a reprieve from "waiting" (if there is such a thing). I'll certainly be thinking of the 2 families on the waiting list who will be entering their 9th month of waiting this weekend (unless, of course, they get a phone call today)!
We're supposed to finally get a break from the rain. So, Aaron and his dad will be attempting to put the swing set together this weekend! I say "attempt" because from the reviews, it seems to have taken most people several days to put together. I'm hoping it will come together in record time without sacrificing quality construction:)
Well, that's all for now! I'll leave you with a couple pictures of Grayson:)
Today has been a good day. We've been on the waiting list for 31 weeks and I'm starting to get the hang of this waiting thing. I have been "blogging" back and forth with my fellow waitlisters today and today was a particularly antsy day for Ellen. Then, I come downstairs, sit at the computer and get ready to focus on my bible study, but have to check my email first. I find a message from Ellen saying she got "the call" TODAY! AHHH! I have been telling myself that I have to stay cool, calm, and collected about this wait at least until Ellen gets her referral! This Friday would have been 8 months on the waiting list for her. So, I know that realistically we may still have several more weeks, but, it's so, so exciting nonetheless!
Yesterday marked 30 weeks of waiting...onto week 31. Tomorrow marks 7 months of waiting. Whew! I never thought I would survive a wait this long...but, here I am! You're not getting rid of me that easily. The longer we wait, the easier it gets in some ways. It becomes easier to convince yourself it may never happen, or some days, it just gets easier knowing we have to be getting close. We are officially 5th on the unofficial waitlist (#3 for either gender/boy). As the weather gets nicer, it becomes easier to fill our days - walks, trips to the park, working in the yard, all those wonderful Springtime activities!
There is also a lot to be excited about here in Lafayette. Three different families in the area will be traveling in the next few days to bring home their little boys! I can't wait to meet them at our next get-together. In some ways, seeing others make progress is a little hard. Embarrassingly enough, it causes little pangs of jealously, though I'm so extremely excited for each of the families that have been waiting so long to see their children. But, the flip side is, it gives hope. Hope that this crazy process does come to an end at some point and the outcome is worth the wait ten times over! I remember after Grayson's adoption was final I actually had times that I missed the excitement of the adoption process. Yes, crazy, I know! But, I missed checking my email and finding a new set of pictures. Or, checking my email and finding that we had passed family court or that our DNA was a match, etc. Yes, I actually missed waiting for that call saying we were officially Grayson's parents because though the wait was so painful, the call was more exciting than I could have ever imagined. So, while this 7 months has been painful at times, I am still hanging in there, knowing that when the call does come it will be more joyful than I could ever imagine (and trust me, I have tried imagining it thousands of times in the last 7 months).
So, here's to 7 months of waiting...lucky 7 right? It will happen sometime in this 7th month????
The closer we get to our referral, the more I feel the need to blog! I LOVE checking other people's blogs, and get really excited when they've posted something new. Thank you to all of those who are feeding my need to read blogs!
According to the recent referrals, people have been waiting around 7 months and 2 or 3 weeks! This means we could have another month. Or, it could mean we have another week. Or, let's face it, it could mean we have another 2 months (I'm only half kidding). But, I'm feeling pretty calm about it all and focusing my attention on other people getting their referrals. When I see Ellen finally receive her referral, I will start to get really antsy.
I'm excited to be spending a weekend at home with not a lot to do. We had plans of painting the fence, but am not sure the weather will be as warm as we hoped. Next week is my bible study's spring break, so I won't be spending the weekend worrying about lesson plans! Yippee! We are planning on buying Grayson a new swingset for Easter/"we already feel guilty about having to leave you for a week while we're in Ethiopia (someday)." I've been calling all the Wal-Marts just waiting for them to get their spring merchandise in stock. That may give us something to do on Saturday or Sunday. Oh, and tonight at 11 I'm heading to Wal-Mart to buy Twilight! I finally caved and read the books (still on #4) and LOVE them! I'd really like to buy a "Team Cullen" shirt, but I'm afraid I may lose some friends over the whole charade. I mean, what sane adult wears a T-shirt endorsing a high school romance novel involving vampires. I'm sure I'll end up with some sort of Twilight paraphanalia at some point.
Well, enough rambling. Everyone have a wonderful weekend. Here are a few pictures of Grayson from last weekend. I'm telling you, Ralph Lauren NEEDS this boy for their spring catalog!
Tomorrow (in a few hours) marks 29 weeks on the waiting list. I'm calming down a bit after the excitement of a boy referral yesterday and another little girl today! Wow, lots of referrals lately. This makes me cautiously happy. Happy because it's great for families to be receiving referrals and for us to move up the list. Cautious because with all the referrals lately, I'm thinking we may be coming up on a "drought" of sorts. In January there were like 10 referrals, then only 4 in February. I'm hoping with all the referrals in March, this doesn't mean very few in April. Oh well, what can I do but wait and enjoy this BEAUTIFUL weather we've been having:)
I know I've mentioned how wonderful Bible Study Fellowship is on numerous occasions, but here I go again!
This year we've been studying the life of Moses. And, several of our lessons have talked about the grumbling Israelites. I mean, these people were unbelievable. God spared them from several plagues, delivered them from Egypt, parted the Red Sea, gave them manna and water for 40 years and they still complained! Every time you turn around these ungrateful people were complaining to Moses about something. They didn't trust that God would take care of them, so they complained. WOW. That's what complaining is isn't it? It's a statement of our lack of faith in God. And, even more convicting, ANY complaint is a complaint against God. Ouch...that hurts. How many times have I grumbled in my heart about our wait for our referral. I'm not just complaining against the process of international adoption. I'm complaining against God. I'm flat out saying, "God, I don't trust the situation that You have put me in. I don't believe that you will provide for me." Not only that, but I'm also being ungrateful. God has given me a loving, supportive, domesticated husband, a son that will light up a room with his prescence, a family that would go to the ends of the earth for us, a stable job in an unstable economy, a beautiful house, a group of local families adopting from Ethiopia, and the list goes on and on. But, that doesn't keep me from complaining the first time I encounter a speedbump in this adoption.
I'm done being like the Israelites. I'm ready to be more like Moses. I'm ready to fall facedown on the ground in front of the Lord and cry out to Him and no one else.
AND...there was another baby boy referral today! That makes us 3rd on the list for boy/either gender. Now, the boy referrals have been a little slower coming lately and there are about 6 other families in front of us. So, this means it could still be awhile, but we're getting closer with each day:)
Today is 28 weeks on the waiting list. I've had a few rough days lately as I allow myself to think about MY timeline for this adoption. At one time I thought we may be traveling now, and never did I dream we wouldn't even have our referral! Oh well, good thing I've learned to not put much stock in my timing:) As excited as I am for warm weather, I am a little sad that this summer will not be spent as a family of four. Oh did I have grand plans for Grayson, Abram, and I. But, it will be nice to have another season to focus my attention solely on Grayson and have a lot of fun with him before little brother demands some attention.
Yesterday, Grayson was upstairs and walked into the nursery/guest room. He pointed at the crib. I asked him whose bed that was and he said, "Abram!" He then looks at the crib, puts his hands in the air, and says, "Abram GONE!" Yes, Grayson, Abram is gone. We don't know where he is. He's hopefully in the Gladney Care Center by now growing bigger with each day that passes. It was a great moment to talk about Abram being in Ethiopia like he was in Guatemala and how we loved him even though we didn't know him yet.
In other, exciting news, Aaron passed the exam he had been studying for for months! He is now a CCIE (Cisco certified internet expert)! This is a HUGE accomplishment as there are less than 20,000 in the world and only about 6,000 in the U.S. He worked so hard for this and I am so proud of him for achieving this HUGE goal! I have to admit, it is nice to have him back in the evenings. Most nights for the last several months were spent studying...and it paid off!
Here are a couple of pictures from last week. Grayson and I went to the Children's Museum and met my sister, my nephews, and niece there. The kids had a great time playing together. Grayson cried for his cousin Ellie as we left the museum that day!
Tomorrow marks 27 weeks. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I'm getting impatient to the point that it's getting downright hard. But, on the other hand, I know each day is one day closer. It just begins to become hard to constantly adjust your expectations. I had told myself back in January we still had a long time. Then, there were several boy referrals in a matter of a couple of weeks. I let myself believe that it would be sooner than I originally thought. Now, we're back to maybe one or two referrals a week. And, none of them have been boys lately. So, I'm back to thinking it will never happen:) The upside to this mindset is that when it does finally happen, I will be totally surprised!
Right now, I'm focusing on praying for the families that have court dates this week and next. There are 3 families in Lafayette with approaching court dates. One is this Friday. I am so prayerful that they pass this first time around. She visited her little boy in Ethiopia in January and he was very sick. They have obviously been extremely worried about him since then. It is very important that he get to come home soon. The other two families have court dates next Friday. One family is our neighbors! I am excited that their little boy is very close in age to Grayson! The other family has been waiting so long. Their referral took NINE months! I cannot handle 9 months, Lord, please don't test me in that way! Please keep these families in your prayers!
On a happy note, Grayson and I had a wonderful day yesterday. We met up with two other moms and their little boys and went to the Children's Museum! Both families we met through our Lafayette Ethiopian adoption group. The boys (and moms) had sooo much fun! It was a great day. We were laughing about what it would look like next year when we try to go with our 6 children! I forgot my camera, but will try to get some pictures from one of the moms that remembered her camera.
Today's bible study story was about the Israelites and all they had to be thankful for. God's cloud was leading them through the desert, He gave them manna every morning, He helped them find water when they were thirsty, and they had Moses to lead them. But still, the Israelites complained!
After class, Grayson's teacher came to me to tell me a story about Grayson. They were sitting at the table during snack time talking about what they were thankful for. Grayson, who doesn't have a whole lot to say at bible study said, "Mommy and Daddy." Now, you have to understand that his typical response to questions is something silly like, "burger and fries," or "apple juice." So, for him to go off script and say, "Mommy and Daddy" melted my heart! What did we do to deserve such a beautiful child?
