31 weeks down and Ellen got her referral!!!!

Today has been a good day. We've been on the waiting list for 31 weeks and I'm starting to get the hang of this waiting thing. I have been "blogging" back and forth with my fellow waitlisters today and today was a particularly antsy day for Ellen. Then, I come downstairs, sit at the computer and get ready to focus on my bible study, but have to check my email first. I find a message from Ellen saying she got "the call" TODAY! AHHH! I have been telling myself that I have to stay cool, calm, and collected about this wait at least until Ellen gets her referral! This Friday would have been 8 months on the waiting list for her. So, I know that realistically we may still have several more weeks, but, it's so, so exciting nonetheless!

A day late or a day early

Yesterday marked 30 weeks of waiting...onto week 31. Tomorrow marks 7 months of waiting. Whew! I never thought I would survive a wait this long...but, here I am! You're not getting rid of me that easily. The longer we wait, the easier it gets in some ways. It becomes easier to convince yourself it may never happen, or some days, it just gets easier knowing we have to be getting close. We are officially 5th on the unofficial waitlist (#3 for either gender/boy). As the weather gets nicer, it becomes easier to fill our days - walks, trips to the park, working in the yard, all those wonderful Springtime activities!

There is also a lot to be excited about here in Lafayette. Three different families in the area will be traveling in the next few days to bring home their little boys! I can't wait to meet them at our next get-together. In some ways, seeing others make progress is a little hard. Embarrassingly enough, it causes little pangs of jealously, though I'm so extremely excited for each of the families that have been waiting so long to see their children. But, the flip side is, it gives hope. Hope that this crazy process does come to an end at some point and the outcome is worth the wait ten times over! I remember after Grayson's adoption was final I actually had times that I missed the excitement of the adoption process. Yes, crazy, I know! But, I missed checking my email and finding a new set of pictures. Or, checking my email and finding that we had passed family court or that our DNA was a match, etc. Yes, I actually missed waiting for that call saying we were officially Grayson's parents because though the wait was so painful, the call was more exciting than I could have ever imagined. So, while this 7 months has been painful at times, I am still hanging in there, knowing that when the call does come it will be more joyful than I could ever imagine (and trust me, I have tried imagining it thousands of times in the last 7 months).

So, here's to 7 months of waiting...lucky 7 right? It will happen sometime in this 7th month????

6 months, 3 weeks...but who's counting?

The closer we get to our referral, the more I feel the need to blog! I LOVE checking other people's blogs, and get really excited when they've posted something new. Thank you to all of those who are feeding my need to read blogs!

According to the recent referrals, people have been waiting around 7 months and 2 or 3 weeks! This means we could have another month. Or, it could mean we have another week. Or, let's face it, it could mean we have another 2 months (I'm only half kidding). But, I'm feeling pretty calm about it all and focusing my attention on other people getting their referrals. When I see Ellen finally receive her referral, I will start to get really antsy.

I'm excited to be spending a weekend at home with not a lot to do. We had plans of painting the fence, but am not sure the weather will be as warm as we hoped. Next week is my bible study's spring break, so I won't be spending the weekend worrying about lesson plans! Yippee! We are planning on buying Grayson a new swingset for Easter/"we already feel guilty about having to leave you for a week while we're in Ethiopia (someday)." I've been calling all the Wal-Marts just waiting for them to get their spring merchandise in stock. That may give us something to do on Saturday or Sunday. Oh, and tonight at 11 I'm heading to Wal-Mart to buy Twilight! I finally caved and read the books (still on #4) and LOVE them! I'd really like to buy a "Team Cullen" shirt, but I'm afraid I may lose some friends over the whole charade. I mean, what sane adult wears a T-shirt endorsing a high school romance novel involving vampires. I'm sure I'll end up with some sort of Twilight paraphanalia at some point.

Well, enough rambling. Everyone have a wonderful weekend. Here are a few pictures of Grayson from last weekend. I'm telling you, Ralph Lauren NEEDS this boy for their spring catalog!

29 weeks down, on to week 30!

Tomorrow (in a few hours) marks 29 weeks on the waiting list. I'm calming down a bit after the excitement of a boy referral yesterday and another little girl today! Wow, lots of referrals lately. This makes me cautiously happy. Happy because it's great for families to be receiving referrals and for us to move up the list. Cautious because with all the referrals lately, I'm thinking we may be coming up on a "drought" of sorts. In January there were like 10 referrals, then only 4 in February. I'm hoping with all the referrals in March, this doesn't mean very few in April. Oh well, what can I do but wait and enjoy this BEAUTIFUL weather we've been having:)

Grumbling against God

I know I've mentioned how wonderful Bible Study Fellowship is on numerous occasions, but here I go again!

This year we've been studying the life of Moses. And, several of our lessons have talked about the grumbling Israelites. I mean, these people were unbelievable. God spared them from several plagues, delivered them from Egypt, parted the Red Sea, gave them manna and water for 40 years and they still complained! Every time you turn around these ungrateful people were complaining to Moses about something. They didn't trust that God would take care of them, so they complained. WOW. That's what complaining is isn't it? It's a statement of our lack of faith in God. And, even more convicting, ANY complaint is a complaint against God. Ouch...that hurts. How many times have I grumbled in my heart about our wait for our referral. I'm not just complaining against the process of international adoption. I'm complaining against God. I'm flat out saying, "God, I don't trust the situation that You have put me in. I don't believe that you will provide for me." Not only that, but I'm also being ungrateful. God has given me a loving, supportive, domesticated husband, a son that will light up a room with his prescence, a family that would go to the ends of the earth for us, a stable job in an unstable economy, a beautiful house, a group of local families adopting from Ethiopia, and the list goes on and on. But, that doesn't keep me from complaining the first time I encounter a speedbump in this adoption.

I'm done being like the Israelites. I'm ready to be more like Moses. I'm ready to fall facedown on the ground in front of the Lord and cry out to Him and no one else.

AND...there was another baby boy referral today! That makes us 3rd on the list for boy/either gender. Now, the boy referrals have been a little slower coming lately and there are about 6 other families in front of us. So, this means it could still be awhile, but we're getting closer with each day:)

28 weeks

Today is 28 weeks on the waiting list. I've had a few rough days lately as I allow myself to think about MY timeline for this adoption. At one time I thought we may be traveling now, and never did I dream we wouldn't even have our referral! Oh well, good thing I've learned to not put much stock in my timing:) As excited as I am for warm weather, I am a little sad that this summer will not be spent as a family of four. Oh did I have grand plans for Grayson, Abram, and I. But, it will be nice to have another season to focus my attention solely on Grayson and have a lot of fun with him before little brother demands some attention.

Yesterday, Grayson was upstairs and walked into the nursery/guest room. He pointed at the crib. I asked him whose bed that was and he said, "Abram!" He then looks at the crib, puts his hands in the air, and says, "Abram GONE!" Yes, Grayson, Abram is gone. We don't know where he is. He's hopefully in the Gladney Care Center by now growing bigger with each day that passes. It was a great moment to talk about Abram being in Ethiopia like he was in Guatemala and how we loved him even though we didn't know him yet.

In other, exciting news, Aaron passed the exam he had been studying for for months! He is now a CCIE (Cisco certified internet expert)! This is a HUGE accomplishment as there are less than 20,000 in the world and only about 6,000 in the U.S. He worked so hard for this and I am so proud of him for achieving this HUGE goal! I have to admit, it is nice to have him back in the evenings. Most nights for the last several months were spent studying...and it paid off!

Here are a couple of pictures from last week. Grayson and I went to the Children's Museum and met my sister, my nephews, and niece there. The kids had a great time playing together. Grayson cried for his cousin Ellie as we left the museum that day!

Posting a little prematurely.

Tomorrow marks 27 weeks. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. On one hand, I'm getting impatient to the point that it's getting downright hard. But, on the other hand, I know each day is one day closer. It just begins to become hard to constantly adjust your expectations. I had told myself back in January we still had a long time. Then, there were several boy referrals in a matter of a couple of weeks. I let myself believe that it would be sooner than I originally thought. Now, we're back to maybe one or two referrals a week. And, none of them have been boys lately. So, I'm back to thinking it will never happen:) The upside to this mindset is that when it does finally happen, I will be totally surprised!

Right now, I'm focusing on praying for the families that have court dates this week and next. There are 3 families in Lafayette with approaching court dates. One is this Friday. I am so prayerful that they pass this first time around. She visited her little boy in Ethiopia in January and he was very sick. They have obviously been extremely worried about him since then. It is very important that he get to come home soon. The other two families have court dates next Friday. One family is our neighbors! I am excited that their little boy is very close in age to Grayson! The other family has been waiting so long. Their referral took NINE months! I cannot handle 9 months, Lord, please don't test me in that way! Please keep these families in your prayers!

On a happy note, Grayson and I had a wonderful day yesterday. We met up with two other moms and their little boys and went to the Children's Museum! Both families we met through our Lafayette Ethiopian adoption group. The boys (and moms) had sooo much fun! It was a great day. We were laughing about what it would look like next year when we try to go with our 6 children! I forgot my camera, but will try to get some pictures from one of the moms that remembered her camera.

What he's thankful for.

Today's bible study story was about the Israelites and all they had to be thankful for. God's cloud was leading them through the desert, He gave them manna every morning, He helped them find water when they were thirsty, and they had Moses to lead them. But still, the Israelites complained!

After class, Grayson's teacher came to me to tell me a story about Grayson. They were sitting at the table during snack time talking about what they were thankful for. Grayson, who doesn't have a whole lot to say at bible study said, "Mommy and Daddy." Now, you have to understand that his typical response to questions is something silly like, "burger and fries," or "apple juice." So, for him to go off script and say, "Mommy and Daddy" melted my heart! What did we do to deserve such a beautiful child?

I'm beginning to lose count!

Alright, you know it's getting bad if you have to look at your own blog to remember how many weeks you've been waiting! Today makes 26! Friday marks 6 months. As far as we know, the average is still 6.5 months. However, there is a conference call with our agency this evening in which they may update this. I, unfortunately, will not be home this evening so I will wait until tomorrow to listen to a recording of the conference call. It has been great to be with an agency that really tries to keep us informed every step of the way. I'm really starting to get anxious to see some progress...any progress...even if it's not my own....just something to let me know this program is still running!!!! I need to see some referrals people!!! Okay, I digress.

Yesterday was a very nice day in that I didn't think once about the FBI list or checking my email. Me and two other college roommates went to Columbus, OH to visit our roommate that is getting ready to have a baby girl! I know she probably begs to differ, but the nine months has FLOWN by! I can't believe she's going to have a baby! I'm just so excited for them to get to experience the sheer joy of being parents. They will make such great parents!

He can count to 10!

When did this happen? When did he get so big and start doing things like recognizing letters and counting! With a promise of Fruit Loops I was able to get him counting on video!

25 weeks!

Wow! Hard to believe today makes 25 weeks on the waiting list. Next Friday marks 6 months. Average wait time last month was 6.5 months. We're getting closer:)

Valentine's Day weekend

We had a nice time this weekend. Saturday we went down to Indy with our friends, Drew and Katrina. We had lunch at Red Robin then headed to the Children's Museum. It was SUPER busy. I'm not sure if it was something to do with it being Engineering Day or if it was Valentine's Day or if it was a little of both. Grayson had a really good time, as usual, but it was a little worrisome for us as we were afraid if we looked away for a split second he would disappear in the crowd. Luckily, we made it home with as many as we left with!

On the adoption front, nothing new! I have found a new peace and patience that I was lacking last week. The thought that this WILL happen and probably relatively soon were comforting. I can't begin to tell you what a blessing being in Bible Study Fellowship has been for me this year. Not only is it a great way to dive into God's word and a nice activity a couple of days a week (not to mention the hours of lessons and lesson plans). But, more than anything, it has allowed me to truly see God's work in my life. I have prayed everday for patience during this adoption, and each day, much to my amazement, I find just enough patience for the day, or hour, or minute. And, sometimes it is a minute-by-minute thing. But, I find I can pause, think to myself, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord," or sometimes I find comfort in, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you," and if those don't work, "My grace is sufficient...My strength is made perfect in weakness," always does the trick.

It's interesting to look back and see how much I've grown since Grayson's adoption. Each day I prayed that things would go quickly and for Grayson's safety and so on. But, I don't feel I ever truly trusted God. I still wanted to control the situation - I wanted my will to be done, not His. And, when Grayson did finally come home, I was certainly grateful to God and have been every day since, knowing that is was His grace and mercy that led us to Grayson. But, I never truly trusted that God would take care of us. And, I certainly never entertained the thought that His will may be different than ours. This time, not only do I completely trust God with this adoption, I also realize there is always the possibility that something could happen that would prevent this adoption from happening - that's just the way international adoption and life work. And, though I would be devestated, and would grieve the loss of this child that we have imagined for so long now, even this could not cause me to doubt God and His plan for our lives.

As a disclaimer, this is not to say that I will never have moments of impatience or even moments of sadness and "why, God" questions. But, this is to say that I am putting this adoption and my life in God's hands and letting Him do things in His perfect timing.

Okay, that wasn't supposed to be so long....here are some pictures from the weekend!

Week 24 has come and gone!

We've been waiting 24 weeks today. On to week 25. There were a couple of referrals late last week, but nothing that moved us up the list. However, just the fact that there has been a pretty steady flow of referrals is encouraging! Honestly, with the way the courts are getting backed up, there is a part of me that is content waiting on a referral. I know from Grayson's adoption that the hard wait is yet to come.

However, on the other hand, I am very anxious to find out how old and how big this little boy is. I didn't think I would want to buy too much for him, knowing that we have so much great stuff from Grayson. But, it's KILLING me to go to Target and not be able to buy any adorable clothes or other fun baby stuff. So, I'm sure I will end up buying a little more than what I originally planned:)

23 weeks!

Today marks 23 weeks on the waiting list! Each day brings us that much closer to seeing our little boy for the first time. We're pretty sure we've already been matched and are just waiting for all the paperwork to be gathered. I have to say that this is a comforting thought - knowing that there is a little boy waiting for us in some orphanage in Ethiopia. I just can't wait to get my hands on him and hug him and cuddle him and tell him how much we've prayed for him. This is a big part of why we have chosen to adopt - the firm belief that every child in this world deserves to be loved, hugged, kissed, and told they are wanted.

I'll leave you with a few pictures of Grayson, our precious boy that is daily smothered in hugs and kisses. He'll probably be glad when there is a baby brother to share the annoyance of the constant hugs and kisses!

Mom, please, enough pictures.

One smile, then leave me alone.

Another baby boy referral!

Okay, I just had to post because I can barely contain my excitement. There was another baby boy referral yesterday!!!!! This puts us at #4...or #2 if the two families open to siblings are referred siblings. It's this crazy feeling of wanting to jump up and down but then there's this force that keeps you in your seat, telling you it could still be another month before you get your referral. Ahhh! This crazy world of international adoption. There is absolutely nothing like it. I hate it for the way it makes you feel like you're losing your mind. I love it for the way it makes you feel like you're on cloud nine. And, of course, I'm obsessed with it for the way God works through it to unite families and their children. Oh, the rollercoaster of emotions!

The fact that we are getting closer to our referral has made me stop and think about the day we get "the call." Will we both be home? Will I be calling Aaron, telling him to rush home? Will I be able to a hold of him (surely with all the communication devices that exist)? Will we videotape our call or just leave it to our memories to remember the day? Will we be able to get a hold of our parents to tell them? Will we cry (okay, was that even a question...I will sob)? What will Grayson think? Only time will tell!

Have a great weekend!

22 weeks and a beautiful, snowy day!

Today marks 22 weeks! I can't believe we've made it this far!

We got quite a bit of snow between yesterday and last night. And, it's still coming down! All the schools around here were either on a 2-hour delay or were closed, except, of course, Lafayette schools. I don't know if Grayson will ever get a snow day! His little friends that happen to live outside of city limits, however, may never go to school! Despite Lafayette not being on a delay, our bible study leader's meeting was canceled. Which means, no bible study tomorrow either. It will be nice to have the extra time this week, but I'm a little disappointed. I had such a neat day planned for the kids tomorrow. The lesson was about God choosing Aaron and his sons as priests. I had gone to Burger King to get little crowns for all the kids and they were going to get to decorate them and wear them for certain activities throughout the day. Oh well!

We did get a chance to get out in the snow yesterday. I'm hoping Aaron will take Grayson out again today. He really liked it. He just has trouble keeping the snow out of his mittens. I remember putting bread bags over our feet on top of our socks to keep our feet dry! Maybe Ziploc bags would work!?!

Staying busy...but starting to get excited!

We are staying busier than ever with bible study, church, hanging with friends and family...but, I'm starting to get so excited thinking about our referral. Realistically, we probably have another month. But that's not that far off considering we've already waited 5! I'm really starting to think more and more about how old he will be. Most of the little boys referred seem to be between 5 and 7 months old, which is perfect. However, if he were 12 mos. old I would be just as ecstatic. I'm really hoping he and Grayson will be less than 2 years apart. I just know they will be best buds.

Carrie and I are 2 years apart and I think about how much fun we had together. She was always very tall for her age, and I just average. A lot of people thought we were twins and I loved that. We would dress alike just to fool people. She didn't like it as much as I did - she has always insisted on being seen as an individual and not just Emily's sister. I would even try to take is as far as dressing our dolls alike..she often resisted. There were of course the occasional misunderstandings. One argument while playing Barbies led to me throwing a Barbie at her and it's head popping off. The tears instantly turned to hysterical laughter and we completely forgot about whatever it was that had us angry. Then there's the incident that has still not been settled. I dropped a doll down to her out of the treehouse...she didn't catch it. It unfortunately led to the doll's eyes coming loose. You could put them back in place, but the next time you looked over her eyes would be crossed. I of course insisted she play with that doll because she dropped it! She claims she wasn't ready and I threw it prematurely. To make matters worse, when we got in fights I would make my baby dolls say things like, "I don't like Aunt Carrie, she's mean!" Those comments were eventually deemed unfair and were not allowed to be made by either party. Most of time we resolved our arguments without Mom's assistance. On the rare occasion that Mom would step in, she would take us downstairs, stand us against the wall, and read us the riot act. We would instantly join forces either laughing at her as she yelled at us, or our favorite, we would hug each other, cry, and insist we were best friends and Mom was mean. Oh, the fun Grayson and Abram will have!

Totally off topic, but here is a picture of Grayson with the boots we got him this weekend. He loves tromping through the snow! However, he picked some up today without a glove on and started crying!

Another happy day for Gladney families!

I can't believe it! There was another baby boy referral this week! We are now #5 on the list of those waiting for a boy or either gender! I sure hope the referrals keep coming! Congrats to all of those receiving referrals the last two weeks!

21 weeks and moving up in the world!

Today marks 21 weeks on the waiting list! And, even better, there was another baby boy referral! This means we are 6 on the list (4 not counting the people open to siblings)!!! However, I have to guard myself from too much excitement. It seems lately there will be a week with a few referrals and then a couple of weeks with no referrals. So, it may be a couple of weeks before we see any more referrals, and if they are for little girls, it won't move us up any. But, at this point I'm confident (as much as one can be in this process) that we have been matched with our little boy and are just waiting for all his documents to be gathered and medical reports/tests to be conducted. I'm really hoping that we will only wait 6 months rather than 7....but, like I said, I'm staying guarded!

Through Grayson's eyes

Grayson loves for me to take pictures. He can barely stand still long enough for me to actually take the picture before he is right there beside me wanting to see the picture on our digital camera.

So, yesterday when we were out and about and saw a Little Tikes digital camera at Radio Shack for only $25 (half off), we decided Grayson needed his own camera. He really likes it so far despite the fact that he doesn't quite get it. He holds it up and says, "CHEESE!" He's taken a lot of self-portraits, unintentionally I believe. Today, he's decided it's much more fun for him to tell me what to take pictures of. Which, I will admit the camera is a little tricky. You have to hold it really still to get a good picture and the button is on the front which is difficult for Grayson's little hands to reach. So, here is a day at home through Grayson's eyes.

A bowl of Fruit Loops and raisins.

Two stuffed puppy dogs.

Grayson using his potty.

A laundry basket of assorted balls.